I have been trying to decide, for the last 5 min, how to phrase this blog. Not sure why I am even writing it other than sometimes I just want to get things out in the open. Sorry Maddy, there won't be any photos so I guess since this is more than two sentences you won't be reading but the fact is, you inspire me to write these things.
I know that usually I write about all the
fun we are having. But everyone should know, that even though I smile and am very happy, there is sometimes a part of me that is very
bitter and afraid. Yep, it's true.
Of what you might be asking your self...or probably are saying, What the crap? I am done with this blog post.
I am
afraid of being in a group and not having someone to talk with. I have serious
social phobia. Shocking to some I know. It is a struggle for me to go into groups without knowing I will 100% have someone to be there to talk with me and really does like me. For example, my class reunions. I have never gone and right now, don't think I will ever go, because they scare me. Sure some of you went to high school with me but that doesn't mean you don't have other friends you will be hanging out with since I didn't really hang out all that much in high school with you and those I did, I don't talk with. (This problem was started in high school though. By my senior year, I didn't do much with anyone.) I don't like being a loner, but it just happened and it scares me.
I go to church activities. I usually find one person who is willing to talk with me and I try to stay near them the entire time then I leave.
I really do try to go out of my way to make friends and meet people. I try not to be the one that hides in the corner cause I really don't like to be there but I am scared of people and feel like I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation.
Bitterness. I have bitterness too, I guess it goes hand in hand with the social thing...I get bitter when I am left out of things. I could talk in circles though because I get bitter because I am left out of things but I don't always go because I am scared and then people don't invite me because I don't go and the circle just continues. So really if I don't come to things, sometimes it is because I am busy but just as often, if not more it is because I am scared.
The moral of the story - I know I need to
get over myself. Sometimes though, I just want to rant. Just Keepin' it Real.
Now that we have painted I can't believe how boring it was before.
I wasn't sure if I posted a photo with our drapes yet so I included that as well.
Autumn is my favorite time of year. The days are still warm, if not hot and the nights are good for sleeping. Except my neighbors make too much noise at 5 am so I still am sleeping with the air-conditioning on. Heaven forbid I get hot at night.
Yeah, it's getting creepy long. Just in time for Halloween I suppose.
I had no idea humming birds could be so fluffy.
We actually left church early this day. Apparently Heavenly Father was not happy with our decision. The rain stopped as we walked into the house. And it was blowing from the left...obviously.
It was SOOOO much fun. 
When I became restless, like I always do during a movie, I just moved from my chair to the back of the car and then back again. 
We saw Knight and Day, a great movie I might add. The second movie was Eclipse. 
We really wanted to stay but it was already 11:30 and we had to get up the next morning to pick up our Bountiful Basket at 6:30. Our Drive In doesn't show rated R movies. We got their about an hour early so we could get a good spot. We took books so we could just chill and read for a bit. I didn't get much reading done because I was too busy checking things out.
They change movies every week. Sometimes a movie is there for 2 weeks but never at the same time. It gives it a nice mixture. I hope we are able to go again this summer. 
The place had a ton of people so I assume it is like that all the time and that they will be in business for awhile to come.
2 heads romaine lettuce
about my ward camp-out this year? Well I am going to tell you. It was that it was only 20 min from my home so when I was done with eating and socializing, I got in my car, drove home, took a hot shower, and slept in my own bed that night.
